Twelve Days of Christmas – Parodies – and other Christmas Carols

I’ll bet you thought my discussion about the Twelve Days was over didn’t you?  Not quite.  I couldn’t finish the topic without mentioning the parodies of the very popular song.

The website

http://www.hymnsandcarolsofchristmas.com/Hymns_and_Carols/Notes_On_Carols/twelve_days_of_christmas.htm

Has a number of parodies towards the bottom – be sure to check them out, I’m sure you’ll be able to relate to at least one or two of them!

Another parody I quite like is this one, which anyone who buys a turkey for Christmas may relate to.  Of course, in this case it seems to be the first day of Christmas is Christmas Eve.  

On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me
I'm glad we've bought a turkey and a proper Christmas tree.

On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey - a most delicious bird.

On the third day of Christmas we'd friends in from next door
The turkey tasted just as good as on the day before.

On the fourth day of Christmas Gran came, she's rather old.
We finished up the Christmas pud and ate the turkey cold.

On the fifth day of Christmas outside the snowflakes flurried
But we were nice and warm inside - we ate the turkey - curried.

On the sixth day of Christmas the turkey spirit died.
The children fought and bickered and we ate the turkey - fried.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave a wince
When he sat down to dinner and was given turkey mince.

On the eighth day of Christmas the dog ran off for shelter
I served up turkey pancakes and a glass of Alka Seltzer.

On the ninth day of Christmas poor Dad began to cry
He said he couldn't stand the strain of eating turkey pie.

On the tenth day of Christmas the air was rather blue
And everybody grumbled at eating turkey stew.

On the eleventh day of Christmas the Christmas tree was moulting
Mince pies as hard as rock and the turkey quite revolting.

On the twelfth day of Christmas at last Dad smacked his lips
The guests had gone, the turkey too - we dined on fish and chips!

Now, back to the song.

In Australia, where I’m from, Christmas falls in summer and many of the traditional winter-themed Christmas Carols just don’t fit in with our weather here, so, naturally, we’ve Australianised some of the elements of Christmas to suit our country.

For example, instead of Santa’s sleigh being pulled by reindeers this far south, it’s pulled by kangaroos, as epitomised in the song, Six White Boomers (a Boomer is a colloquialism being Big White Kangaroo).  You can do a search of YouTube to find a few videos created featuring the song.

Likewise,  some of the traditional Christmas Carols have been given an Australian bent. 

For Jingle Bells Australian style go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1aYkutjXfQ

As would be expected, Australians also have changed the lyrics to the Twelve Days of Christmas.  In fact there are a number of versions of this, revolving around different Australian native animals. You should note that one of the versions (which I haven’t included here) has an emu in a gum tree – now that’s just ludicrous, and whoever created that version probably wasn’t an Australian at all because all Australians know that emus are BIG birds that don’t fly, and they certainly don’t climb gum trees!  The more popular version is a kookaburra in a gum tree. 

Version 1

On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
A kookaburra in a gum tree
On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Two cockatoos, and a kookaburra in a gum tree

Three parakeets.........
Four great galahs.......
Five opals black......
Six 'roos a-jumping........
Seven emus running.......
Eight koalas clinging.........
Nine wombats waddling........
Ten dingoes dashing.......
Eleven snakes a-sliding.......
Twelve goannas going.......

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Twelve goanna goin, Eleven snakes a-sliding,
Ten dingoes dashing, Nine wombats waddling,
Eight koalas clinging, Seven emus running,
Six 'roos a-jumping, Five opals black,
Four great galahs, Three parakeets,
Two cockatoos, And a kookaburra up a gum tree.

This is another version:

A kookaburra in a gum tree

2 snakes on skis

3 wet galahs

4 lyrebirds

5 kangaroos

6 sharks a –surfing

7 emus laying

8 dingoes dancing

9 crocs a-snoozing

10 wombats washing

11 lizards leaping

12 possums playing

Now as a born and bred Australian, I’m not overly happy with either of these versions by themselves.  Why?  Well wombats waddle – I’ve never seen one wash.  Snakes don’t ski, but they do slide and we have some of the deadliest snakes in the world, so they should probably be included.  Likewise crocs and sharks - yes I know there are sharks worldwide, but sharks and surfing really fits in with the Australian Christmas of being at the beach, so for me it stays!   “Lizards” are common in lots of countries and ditto for parakeets.  Cockatoos should definitely be included, and I prefer wet galahs to great galahs, because galahs really aren’t that big – they’re just normal bird-sized (certainly not as big as an emu).  Emus both lay and run so either of those options I’m happy with.  And ‘goanna going’ just sounds lame.  

You know, with the modern Australian versions all being so different, is it any wonder that we don’t REALLY know what order things were sung in the original song (see the Wikipedia discussion on the Twelve Days of Christmas – referred to in my previous blog).

Now, in keeping with the YouTube parody I included in my first blog entry about the Twelve Days of Christmas, i.e. the Twelve Pains of Christmas which occurs before Christmas, I thought I would include here an Australian version of what the twelve days might include if they happened before Christmas Day in Australia.  It doesn’t quite fit in with the traditional tune, but the authors Bucko and Champs make it work:

On the first day of Christmas a swagman at the gate

Said, Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

On the second day of Christmas an emu by the fence

Said, Good onya, cob

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

On the third day of Christmas a shearer down the shed

Said, How ‘bout the flies?

Goon onya, cob

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

On the fourth day of Christmas a goanna on a rock

Said, ‘it’s stinkin’ hot

How ‘bout the flies

Good onya , cob,

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

On the fifth day of Christmas Frank put up the sign

Total Fire Ban

Said, ‘it’s stinkin’ hot

How ‘bout the flies

Good onya , cob,

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

On the sixth day of Christmas a dingo by the dam

Said, I’m flat out till Chrissy

Total Fire Ban

Said, ‘it’s stinkin’ hot

How ‘bout the flies

Good onya , cob,

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

On the seventh day of Chirstmas Sue put up the lights

Drop in for a chinwag

I’m flat out till Chrissy

Total Fire Ban

Said, ‘it’s stinkin’ hot

How ‘bout the flies

Good onya , cob,

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

On the 8^th day of Christmas they called the CFA

Santa’s on a fire truck

Drop in for a chinwag

I’m flat out till Chrissy

Total Fire Ban

Said, ‘it’s stinkin’ hot

How ‘bout the flies

Good onya , cob,

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

On the ninth day of Christmas you should have heard the cheer

School’s out for summer!

Santa’s on a fire truck

Drop in for a chinwag

I’m flat out till Chrissy

Total Fire Ban

Said, ‘it’s stinkin’ hot

How ‘bout the flies

Good onya , cob,

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

On the 10^th day of Christmas y’couldn’t move in town

A madhouse up Main Street
School’s out for summer!

Santa’s on a fire truck

Drop in for a chinwag

I’m flat out till Chrissy

Total Fire Ban

Said, ‘it’s stinkin’ hot

How ‘bout the flies

Good onya , cob,

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

On the eleventh day of Christmas they drew the raffle prize

You little beauty!

Madhouse up Main Street
School’s out for summer!

Santa’s on a fire truck

Drop in for a chinwag

I’m flat out till Chrissy

Total Fire Ban

Said, ‘it’s stinkin’ hot

How ‘bout the flies

Good onya , cob,

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, we’ll take an early mark

Knock off till New Year

You little beauty!

Madhouse up Main Street
School’s out for summer!

Santa’s on a fire truck

Drop in for a chinwag

I’m flat out till Chrissy

Total Fire Ban

Said, ‘it’s stinkin’ hot

How ‘bout the flies

Good onya, cob,

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

If you don’t understand what any of these words mean, feel free to add a comment and I’ll try and elucidate.

Another Australian parody that’s probably just as apt and which I only just discovered doing the research for this blog this year follows below.  If you don’t understand it, that’s okay, it’s all about types of alcohol, chiefly Australian beer (with the exception of Saki of course).   I have taken the liberty of  changing one of the beers represented by  the Xs to their proper name – Fourex represented by, you guessed it, XXXX, however Fourex by itself doesn’t fit in perfectly so I’ve altered it to a Fourex Gold……..though with the mention of Gold, perhaps we should make this the number 5 gift!

On the first Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
A blue, foam stubbie holder

On the Second Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
2 VB lights
and a blue foam stubbie holder

On the Third Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
3 Carlton midstrengths
2 VB lights
and a blue foam stubbie holder

On the Fourth Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
4 Fourex Golds
3 Carlton midstrengths
2 VB lights
and a blue foam stubbie holder

On the Fifth Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
5 giant kegs
4 Fourex Golds
3 Carlton midstrengths
2 VB lights
and a blue foam stubbie holder


On the Sixth Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
6 different six packs
5 giant kegs
4 Fourex Golds
3 Carlton midstrengths
2 VB lights
and a blue foam stubbie holder


On the Seventh Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
7 pints of saki
6 different six packs
5 giant kegs
4 Fourex Golds
3 Carlton midstrengths
2 VB lights
and a blue foam stubbie holder

On the Eigth Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
8 A.A. classes
7 pints of saki
6 different six packs
5 giant kegs
4 Fourex Golds
3 Carlton midstrengths
2 VB lights
and a blue foam stubbie holder

On the Ninth Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
9 hours of hangover
8 A.A. classes
7 pints of saki
6 different six packs
5 giant kegs
4 Fourex Golds
3 Carlton midstrengths
2 VB lights
and a blue foam stubbie holder

On the Tenth Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
10 tons of aspirin
9 hours of hangover
8 A.A. classes
7 pints of saki
6 different six packs
5 giant kegs
4 Fourex Golds
3 Carlton midstrengths
2 VB lights
and a blue foam stubbie holder

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
11 weeks of rehab
10 tons of aspirin
9 hours of hangover
8 A.A. classes
7 pints of saki
6 different six packs
5 giant kegs
4 Fourex Golds
3 Carlton midstrengths
2 VB lights
and a blue foam stubbie holder

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my True Love Gave to me,
12 months to recover,
11 weeks of rehab,
10 tons of aspirin
9 hours of hangover
8 A.A. classes
7 pints of saki
6 different six packs
5 giant kegs
4 Fourex Golds
3 Carlton midstrengths
2 VB lights
and a blue foam stubbie holder

Okay, so it wasn’t that great but certainly fits in with the idea of carousing and festivities that used to be so traditional in Olde England way back when, during the Twelve Days of Christmas.

To finish off I thought I’d end with another YouTube video I like, also about beer, but this time its Canadian, so you see, it's not just Australians who are obsessed with beer.

The Twelve Days of Christmas Song

The Twelve Days of Christmas (see previous blog) are coming to a close, but before it does let’s consider briefly the song of the same name.

Rather than repeating at length what’s written elsewhere, this blog will have various links you can check out yourself.

Let’s start with the Wikipedia  entry, but before you do, remember that Wikipedia is a public domain encyclopedia and not everything that’s on it is accurate.  However, things stated are often referenced from elsewhere and the list of elsewheres is at the bottom of each article, so it’s a good starting point. 

Now one of the theories of the origins of the song has sparked a bit of a debate – it is a modern theory that the song is written in code as a Catechism song for young Catholics – to remind them about the tenets of their faith during the Protestant Reformation, when many tried to ban all the Catholic practices.  The gifts in this instance represent the following:

1 True Love refers to God
2 Turtle Doves refers to the Old and New Testaments
3 French Hens refers to Faith, Hope and Charity, the Theological Virtues
4 Calling Birds refers to the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
5 Golden Rings refers to the first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which gives the history of man's fall from grace.
6 Geese A-laying refers to the six days of creation
7 Swans A-swimming refers to the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the sacraments
8 Maids A-milking refers to the eight beatitudes
9 Ladies Dancing refers to the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit
10 Lords A-leaping refers to the ten commandments
11 Pipers Piping refers to the eleven faithful apostles
12 Drummers Drumming refers to the points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed

The website http://www.crivoice.org/cy12days.html goes into more detail about what each of these means.

I found the opinions expressed on the following three sites quite interesting in relation to this discussion.  You should read then yourself – they’re only short – to see the context of the paragraphs I’ve quoted.

Firstly:-   http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/music/12days.asp 

On this page, it’s pointed out that the tenets of the Anglican Church and the Catholic church are pretty much the same, so the suggestion that the Catholics use the song to remember their rites because they couldn’t commit anything to writing in England about them during the time of the reformation seems to me, at least, to be somewhat flawed, especially as they’re pretty much the same between the two churches.

The site does suggest, in passing, that perhaps it was a song that was developed by Christians who could not openly practise their faith in societies where it was forbidden.  Keep this in mind for the moment.

Secondly:-  http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/christmaslore/a/12_days_of_christmas_meaning_3.htm

This site puts forward another explanation that states the song is one about love and fertility because of the symbols used in it – see the extract below:

Far from finding any religious significance in "The Twelve Days of Christmas," some scholars, including University of Massachusetts classics professor Edward Phinney, argue that it's first and foremost a love song. "If you think of all the things being presented," he said in a 1990 newspaper interview, "you realize they're all gifts from a lover to a woman. Some of them are rather impossible to give, like eight maids a milking and nine ladies dancing. All those ladies and dancing and pipers and drums imply this is a wedding."

And then, of course, there are the decidedly un-Biblical fertility symbols — the partridge in a pear tree, for example. "The pear is equivalent to the heart and the partridge is a famous aphrodisiac," Phinney said. And how about those six geese a-laying! Seven of the song's 12 verses feature birds of various kinds, Phinney observed, all of them symbols of fertility. "The whole song seems to me to point to a festival of joy and love more appropriate to a secular holiday like Valentine's Day or May Day than a religious holiday," he said.

Thirdly:-  http://www.hymnsandcarolsofchristmas.com/Hymns_and_Carols/Notes_On_Carols/twelve_days_of_christmas.htm

This page spends quite a bit of time on the song being a nursery rhyme or children’s game according to sources in the 1800s, though the writer makes a couple of comments I found interesting, viz:

With reference to it being a code about the Catholic catechism –

Most commentators discount this version concerning the origin of the song for the fundamental reason that the most of the elements were common to both the Church of Rome and the Church of England, and because the song probably originated in France.

In keeping with the religious connotations, however, Douglas Brice* notes that

"in folk-lore the pear is an emblem of fertility and the partridge an emblem of the Evil One". He also notes that the pipe and drum  have always been regarded as symbolizing the harmonious relationship between the good Christian and his Creator. He concludes that "The presence of the Evil one in the genealogical tree would appear to be a reference to Man in his fallen state awaiting Redemption through the Passion of Christ."

*Douglas Brice, The Folk Carol of England (London: Herberg Jenkins, 1967)

In this case the pear and partridge mean something slightly different to what Professor Edward Phinney stated above (where the pear = heart and the partridge = aphrodisiac).

Let’s go back further though……

According to one source, [the Twelve Days of Christmas] was first mentioned as a festal tide by the eastern Father, Ephraem Syrus, at the end of the fourth century, and was declared to be such by the western Council of Tours in 567 A.D. 

This doesn’t necessarily mean that the song was around at that time and most likely was not, but the festival it relates to may have been, in one form or another.

As a song, Elizabeth Poston** reports that an early version dates back to a thirteenth-century manuscript in the Library of Trinity College, Cambridge (B. 14. 39) entitled 'Twelfth Day'.

**Elizabeth Poston, The Second Penguin Book of Christmas Carols (Penguin: Hammondsworth, 1970)

Ah-ha!!!  Well that kind of rules out the theory that the song was BASED on the Catholic catechism BECAUSE of the Protestant Reformation.  However, it could have been adapted to serve that purpose at that time. 

And perhaps, as mentioned briefly on the Snopes website, it could have been a song created for Christians who weren’t allowed to practice their faith a long time ago – before the Roman Catholic church emerged so strongly and Christianity became the dominant religion in the world.

One last thing to quote which nicely sums up the ‘religious’ meaning of the song is the P.S. that follows the article on the topic on the Catholic Information Network, addressing the catechism idea – see http://www.cin.org/twelvday.html

P.S. It has come to our attention that this tale is made up of both fact and fiction. Hopefully it will be accepted in the spirit it was written. As an encouragement to people to keep their faith alive, when it is not easy, and when any outward expressions of their faith could mean their life. Today there are still people living under similar conditions, may this tale give them courage, and determination to use any creative means at their disposal to keep their faith alive.

So, think what you like about the song and about Christmas in general.  In the end, I believe it all comes down to the Spirit of Christmas which I’ve already mentioned here and there in this series of blogs.